Torn.

"There's only us. There's only this.
Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss.
No other road. No other way.
No day but today!"
--Rent

It dawned on me today that I am a fool. I mean I always knew it, but the extent of my folly has struck me only now.

To begin with I happily forgot that I had a lab today. The sudden realisation of which ruined my entire planned schedule. When I got off the shuttle, for a flash I completely forgot where I was going. Recovering slowly, I eventually did reach the Fab lab, only to find I had not put on my shoes!

But I am a fool of no common order. Essentially I am smitten, possessed these days. By nothing other than This powerful Musical I saw more than a year back.
Yes, the Ghost had come to visit my home and now it refuses to leave.

I just saw a Broadway show a week back and while that did not impress me much, it stirred the memories of it's distant cousin.

Watching Rent was the single most magnificient experience I have had in my life( not an overtly boring life at that!). It is amazing how much power a few words sung out by soaring voices, swayed to by nimble feet, can do to a person.

I remember I was a part of Theater Group at IITR and I left the place after 2 months. On the eve of my departure I sang a song for the whole group. I remember 20 odd people sitting there in a sombre mood quietly listening to me. I finished my song and looked up only to find people crying!
It was inexplicable. It was not me leaving. Why would 4th and 5th yearites cry for a freshie whom they had known but a few weeks? It was definitley not my singing. I never could, nor can now sing THAT well. Not in my bathroom not even in my dreams! There was something about that song and the power that it had over that audience!

Something similar holds sway over me now.
What a powerful play it must have been that routine life seems so drab in comparision. Isn't that the dream of artisits? To create a world that does not exist ? That entices people by its charms and holds them in its grip.

I wish I could sing and dance and act like that. I wish life WAS in fact a long melodious song.

But then again I am a fool with an obsession! Not just foolish enough to subsitute reality with a make believe world, but foolish enough to immerse my world in the study of Theater and Music, as I know I soon will :)