Just a small update
I actually held in my hands today, the first edition of a hand written book on Quantum Mechanics by Enrico Fermi!
What an amazing moment when you are so close to a classic piece of history.
It's like being with 'David', 'Water Lilies' or 'The Sistine Chapel'.
It's ecstatic at worst and inspiring at best.

Reality strikes!

I haven't written anything original for ages,
Haven't even thought anything new

Just spent an evening at the lake watching the sun drown
Listening to my soul and the music that resides within
Swinging wildly between utopia achieved and denied.

There is the numbness of apathy
Pierced by angles of longing

Longing for a meaning, for a goal
For a statue to raise, a temple to salute.

Something worth living for
Something dying for.

Wishing for my lost innocence, naivete
I know I don't believe anymore
I wish I did.

Andy on a roll

88 the number of keys on a piano
so let's hope this bu doesn't fall flat
all set to be able to keep sharp
but also i try not to see everything in black and white
so tune in
i think it's goign to be grand
as long as we set it up right
and then it could get electric
i've a real good feeling that we'll hit the high notes
G hope it doesn't get too CD this week
A that wouldn't be good
Otherwise there'll be people in the street buirning FEG's of us

I'll stop now as an octave mercy

Argh! What the hell is this?
I am feeling so compellingly senti right now for no reason at all!! There is a barrage of emotions and no anchor to pin them down to.
Maybe it's just that I am going home :) Soon ! :)
Or maybe I should make hay while the sun shines and paint!
:)) What a random bunch of ideas that!

Too many tweets might make a twat..

Hello Andy, John and Tom,

After the enlightening Bugle this week, I tried very hard to think before I spoke and was subsequently inspired to pen down this beautiful Ode:

Too many brits make a brat
Too many frits make one fat
Too many splits make a spat
Palin quits for reasons squat

Regards

Manmohini morey

Tweaking the dials and knobs

to get it right
What was that station?
What was that frequency?
When our wavelengths matched
When there was blissful harmony
Resonance

It all seems mismatched now
The beats horribly off
And the closer you try to get the more it lashes
In torrents
Tortuous waves of energy

It was agonising and ecstatic
That entangled world

As we quietly slid far away into
our classical worlds, indifferent
un-interfering
Trying to capture approximations to ideality
Into our imperfect, realistic world.

My latest submission to JO & AZ

My Dear Deluded Duo,

You've got your history completely muddled. Due to your Freudian fixation on the Royal Family, you Britishers overlooked the fact that America and India are now completely independent.

In fact the day Britain, in all its snootiness, decided to break off the Eurasian mainland, and dug a huge moat around itself, filled it with the Loch Ness Monster and covertly charged the entire Empire with the bill, was the day it lost its dominion over the world.

You are now at best a neglected 51st State of the USA, much like a badly behaved, misguided, smaller brother of Texas. You insist you are sovereign but really, waving a flag and feeding a Queen doesn't actually spell liberty. In fact you are more accurate chanting "God Bless America, and while you're at it, Save the Queen" too. If you all mend your loony ways and behave yourselves, you might just earn a star on their flag!

As a tribute to your twisted beliefs may I, in all humility, suggest a slogan for The Bugle, (which did you know is also defined as a misery pipe?!) ?

The Bugle: Declaring The War on Facts, by the Sentries of Bull Shit.

Yours lovingly,

What a reason to post. I'm bored. I actually have nothing of interest to do and writing amounts to just about scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I am trying to check if even that holds any joy to me at all.
Well it's not like I don't have work, there are 2 projects to juggle, one thesis to write, 3 difficult Broadway songs to prepare for performance, 4 intriguing books to read, John Oliver to holler at and Matt Damon to generally drool over.
Still it is not grand enough, not magical enough.
For the Drama Queen that I am I should probably permanently shift to Disneyland.

What is this life so devoid of care?
Too much time and nothing to stare.

“I can close my eyes on my valley as it is today, and it is gone, and I see it as it was, when I was a boy. In those days, the black slag, the waste of the coal pits, had only begun to cover the sides of our hill. Not yet enough to mar the countryside, nor blacken the beauty of our village, for the colliery had only begun to poke its skinny black fingers through the green.” – Huw, How Green Was My Valley.

I still remember this place, this self same city though much greener, brighter, cleaner and quieter. The plump orchard trees blossoming with glorious flowers that melted away into luscious fruits. Remember the guava, mango and litchi branches literally bending over backwards to bear their produce. Still remember the kids climbing these boughs in an attempt to lighten their burden and enjoy a feast, fighting off rival birds. I remember the East Canal Road actually flowing alongside the East Canal, my garden in full bloom attracting butterflies of every size and shape, the clean gurgling streams flowing by houses. When Air Conditioner was unknown and a Cooler not required. A time of liberal rain and water abound.

Can you see that valley today? When was the last time you actually saw a beautiful butterfly or a house sparrow? When was the last you awoke in the morning to the tune of a bird or sighted a blue kingfisher? When was the last you did not have to hunt road sides all day, for a good bunch of litchis or when mangoes didn’t wilt before their time? When rain didn’t clog, heat was not so cruel, Basmati fields were not rare. When was the last time you crossed Chakrauta Road and did not curse the traffic for clogging it up?

It is not trivial, this ruin for as Albert Einstein once said:

‘If all the honey bees were wiped out, mankind would follow in about four years.’

We really do not have to go too far to see what fast-paced, un-planned, mindless “development” can do to the Earth. Just look around. See what it has done to this small town and witness the dregs of misguided progress.

Yet we should not hasten to cry death to technology for therein lies the future of mankind. It is very easy for anyone to take an extremist view and march ahead trampling on delicate ecological balance or hail an end to all development. However we should not demonise technology. For it has done us much good too. We have continuous electricity now, better health facilities, more medicines, easily available clean water, better sanitation, stronger roads and brighter safer nights. The Communication revolution and Globalization brought with it more knowledge and literacy, better ideas and flavours from across the globe.

This dichotomy is well manifested by this saying:

“In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.” ~Changing Times magazine

Technology is thus a double edged sword and we have to learn how to wield it well. Therein lies the relevance and import of this conference. This conference was an attempt at enlightening us all about the wastefulness of our ways. It intended to show us paths leading to “sustainable development”, one which will give us a better tomorrow without devouring our resources.

As always it is not difficult to change our future. It will just take some compassion, understanding and maturity, but we can all do our bit. All we need to do is use some common sense and care a little. It will take such simple measures like conserving water and electricity at home and in college. We need to cut reckless oil usage, recycle plastics, paper and water. Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. Plant and tend to trees. There is a lot we can do and I sincerely hope we have taken some lessons from the brilliant material presented in this conference and will carry them out.

Let us make our homes more environment friendly. In fact let us all take a step further and make this college eco-friendly.

I would urge each and everyone, including me to make M.K.P. Go Green For

“What would the world be, once bereft
of wet and wildness? Let them be left.
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet.”
- Gerard Manley Hopkins.

"After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasant a thing, after all, as wanting."
-As long as I am wanting, I am alive!

A is A

There is that which is true,
then there is that which you want to be true.

And a big chasm in between,
driven by a sublime disconnect between your perception
and someone else's.

For what is truth without knowledge and what is knowledge without interpretation?

It was easy for Aristotle to propound his Law of Identity but did no one see through it? Maybe no one took it that seriously.

After years of borrowing Ayn Rand's vision and a quest for Roark, I now rest my case. It is futile, the attempt to objectify everything, the attempt to rationalise every occurrence.

Why do I think that in the end it will all make sense? That there is something more to understand?

Maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe randomness governs more than just the Quantum World. Maybe it's time to let the truth "lie".

Aye shaheed-e-mulk-o-millat main tere oopar nisaar
Ab teri himmat ka charcha ghair ki mehfil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai
Waqt aanay dey bata denge tujhe aye aasman
Hum abhi se kya batayen kya hamare dil mein hai

To music realised

There is a dream like quality to you
A subtle soft charm that touches my life
Like the sheerest of muslins
Almost there but not quite
An escaping moment
A soft breeze
Your voice still plays softly in the humdrum of my daily life
And there it shall stay a dream not realised, a hint of first rain
An idea too beautiful to be defined by the harsh colours of life :)

I have decided to stay away from Blogging. Those who've been regularly going through it, thanks a lot, it was very kind of you. :)
However I now think I should stop broadcasting random opinion.

So long and Thanks for All the Fish! :)

The bug

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know why nobody told you
how to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
they bought and sold you

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know how you were diverted
you were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
no one alerted you

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at you all
Still my guitar gently weeps

It has bitten me finally, the bug of Classical Rock. My introduction to Western Music came with the Boy Bands and Pop Culture. English Music to me as a kid was defined by Boyzone and MLTR, limited to Backstreet Boys and Britney and all that lay in between. I am almost regretful today of the kind of music I subscribed to then.

Throughout college I diligently stayed away from Rock. To me there was something very repelling in the mass fad associated with it. In a young college campus you regularly bump into the wannabe pseudo rock fans, faking it only to get tagged as cool.

Something so flimsy could not hold my approval. But then as they say one should not judge a book by its covers, I was wrong all along.

Without much to do, I set about to explore the Kings and Queens of the Bohemian era. Little did I know I would catch the virus. My room now resounds with Knopfler, Floyd, Mercury, The Who et. al.

Ostrich anyone?

If I could just not be trapped within myself for a few months.

What a holiday that would be!

Having established previously that I am a fool, I shall now take it that all my mistakes henceforth will be forgiven and forgotten in light of my pleading stupid.
Last Sunday I had gone to play and had managed to misread the Shuttle time table, as a result of which had to walk all the way back from the Intramural Fields to my home. At night. Alone.
Which was alright except that I also managed to scare another girl walking ahead of me!
Don't ask me why. Apparently my very presence scares people off!

So I was walking the walk, when I noticed this blind guy coming down the street on the pavement. I moved aside softly and though he was pretty far, he still managed to hear me.
Then he looked up and said "Hi!". I recovered from my astonishment and quickly returned his greeting, which in turn led him to place my position exactly.
So now this blind man is looking straight at me and says "Do you know if there is a Church around? I know there is a Church on 24th, I am not able to find it"

Well to begin with I did not know where a Church was, but since I am claiming stupidity we shall ignore that. Besides I was taken aback. It struck me that the street we were walking on was in fact 24th. Besides it was late night and deserted. God knows how he figured out the street number! God knows how he even crossed the streets all by himself with no traffic sound signals! And he wanted to go to a Church now, all by himself!

Gathering from my incoherent muttering he quickly grasped that I was pretty useless and cheerfully walked on saying " Don't worry ! I'll ask someone else. Good night! "

I didn't need to belabour the point so, except that I need a nice big break from work. :P
Anyway my point was that I was amazed at the independence and confidence of this blind guy! In fact I am frequently impressed by the resilience and courage shown by many disabled people living their life cheerfully and proudly.

Compare them with me. Us. We with our little worries and small disadvantages, create such a brouhaha for every little inconvenience we face! There are people in this world with far graver issues and struggles and they carry on with such amazing courage, perseverance and good cheer.

Maybe we all should step back and remind ourselves of our incredible good fortune now and then :)

Torn.

"There's only us. There's only this.
Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss.
No other road. No other way.
No day but today!"
--Rent

It dawned on me today that I am a fool. I mean I always knew it, but the extent of my folly has struck me only now.

To begin with I happily forgot that I had a lab today. The sudden realisation of which ruined my entire planned schedule. When I got off the shuttle, for a flash I completely forgot where I was going. Recovering slowly, I eventually did reach the Fab lab, only to find I had not put on my shoes!

But I am a fool of no common order. Essentially I am smitten, possessed these days. By nothing other than This powerful Musical I saw more than a year back.
Yes, the Ghost had come to visit my home and now it refuses to leave.

I just saw a Broadway show a week back and while that did not impress me much, it stirred the memories of it's distant cousin.

Watching Rent was the single most magnificient experience I have had in my life( not an overtly boring life at that!). It is amazing how much power a few words sung out by soaring voices, swayed to by nimble feet, can do to a person.

I remember I was a part of Theater Group at IITR and I left the place after 2 months. On the eve of my departure I sang a song for the whole group. I remember 20 odd people sitting there in a sombre mood quietly listening to me. I finished my song and looked up only to find people crying!
It was inexplicable. It was not me leaving. Why would 4th and 5th yearites cry for a freshie whom they had known but a few weeks? It was definitley not my singing. I never could, nor can now sing THAT well. Not in my bathroom not even in my dreams! There was something about that song and the power that it had over that audience!

Something similar holds sway over me now.
What a powerful play it must have been that routine life seems so drab in comparision. Isn't that the dream of artisits? To create a world that does not exist ? That entices people by its charms and holds them in its grip.

I wish I could sing and dance and act like that. I wish life WAS in fact a long melodious song.

But then again I am a fool with an obsession! Not just foolish enough to subsitute reality with a make believe world, but foolish enough to immerse my world in the study of Theater and Music, as I know I soon will :)

Without you - Rent

MIMI
Without You
The Ground Thaws
The Rain Falls
The Grass Grows

Without You
The Seeds Root
The Flowers Bloom
The Children Play

The Stars Gleam
The poets dream
The Eagles Fly
Without You

The Earth Turns
The Sun Burns
But I Die
Without You

Without You
The Breeze Warms
The Girl Smiles
The Cloud Moves

Without You
The Tides Change
The Boys Run
The Oceans Crash

The Crowds Roar
The Days Soar
The Babies Cry
Without You

The Moon Glows
The River Flows
But I Die
Without You

ROGER
The World Revives

MIMI
Colors Renew

BOTH
But I Know Blue
Only Blue
Lonely Blue

MIMI
Within Me, Blue

BOTH
Without You

MIMI
Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats

ROGER
Without You
The Eyes Gaze
The Legs Walk
The Lungs Breathe

ROGER
The Mind Churns (MIMI: The Mind Churns)
The Heart Yearns (MIMI: The Heart Yearns)

BOTH:
The Tears Dry
Without You

Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die

ROGER
Without You

MIMI
Without You

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

बगिया बगिया बालक भागे
तितली फिर भी हाथ न लागे
इस पगले को कौन बताये?
ढूँढ रहा है जो तू जग में
कोई जो पाए तो, मन में ही पाए

सपनो से भरे नैना...
तो नींद है न चैना

ऐसी डगर कोई अगर जो अपनाए
हर राह के वो अंत पे
रस्ता ही पाए
धुप का रस्ता जो पैर जलाये
मोड़ तो आए छाओं न आए
राही जो चलता है चलता ही जाए
कोई नहीं है जो कहीं उसे समझाए

सपनों से भरे नैना
तो नींद है न चैना

नैना रे नैना रे
नैना रे
नैना रे

घ घ प ध ...

दूर ही से, सागर जिसे, हर कोई माने
पानी है वो, या रेत है, यह कौन जाने
जैसे कि दिन से रैन अलग है
सुख़ है अलग और चैन अलग है
पर जो यह देखे वो नैन अलग है
चैन तो है अपना सुख़ हैं पराये

सपनों से भरे नैना
तो नींद है न चैना

couldn't help

but lift this! (no idea if it's even allowed)Credits: http://graphjam.com/page/26/

:)

We came. we sang. we conquered.
Throw in electric acoustic and bass guitars with amazing guitarists, drummer, and extremely enthu punters singing like there's no tomorrow!
A night of friends and live music. What more can I ask for? :) :)

Some blah...

I might as well call this my personal diary and be done with it...it pretty much serves the same purpose..
It's just me talking to myself...sometimes I wonder why does anyone else in the world read my blog at all?...
Anyway so what's new? I think I have grown old.
I remember reading an article in Reader's Digest as a kid about growing up ( in those days that's what growing older was called! ) There was this guy reminiscing about his journey through life and how he grew up not by years or birthdays but by events. That milestones in his life were not dates but happenings.
So I think my growing past undergrad into grad life marked more than a birthday so to speak. It changed me to such a remarkable extent.
The person I am today has totally lost interest in society or people, has re discovered the joys of solitude and forsaken the need to be with others.
More than anything I have lost my patience, which is what bothers me most. I think living with a large set of people and getting my case taken every now and then, had tempered me a lot. Now it takes me time and effort to remind myself that others are only kidding when they do so. I have become so utterly intolerant of people.
I am so easily annoyed, so effortlessly irritated that it's not funny anymore!
Essentially I have sathiyaoed in my twenties :P