Torn.

"There's only us. There's only this.
Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss.
No other road. No other way.
No day but today!"
--Rent

It dawned on me today that I am a fool. I mean I always knew it, but the extent of my folly has struck me only now.

To begin with I happily forgot that I had a lab today. The sudden realisation of which ruined my entire planned schedule. When I got off the shuttle, for a flash I completely forgot where I was going. Recovering slowly, I eventually did reach the Fab lab, only to find I had not put on my shoes!

But I am a fool of no common order. Essentially I am smitten, possessed these days. By nothing other than This powerful Musical I saw more than a year back.
Yes, the Ghost had come to visit my home and now it refuses to leave.

I just saw a Broadway show a week back and while that did not impress me much, it stirred the memories of it's distant cousin.

Watching Rent was the single most magnificient experience I have had in my life( not an overtly boring life at that!). It is amazing how much power a few words sung out by soaring voices, swayed to by nimble feet, can do to a person.

I remember I was a part of Theater Group at IITR and I left the place after 2 months. On the eve of my departure I sang a song for the whole group. I remember 20 odd people sitting there in a sombre mood quietly listening to me. I finished my song and looked up only to find people crying!
It was inexplicable. It was not me leaving. Why would 4th and 5th yearites cry for a freshie whom they had known but a few weeks? It was definitley not my singing. I never could, nor can now sing THAT well. Not in my bathroom not even in my dreams! There was something about that song and the power that it had over that audience!

Something similar holds sway over me now.
What a powerful play it must have been that routine life seems so drab in comparision. Isn't that the dream of artisits? To create a world that does not exist ? That entices people by its charms and holds them in its grip.

I wish I could sing and dance and act like that. I wish life WAS in fact a long melodious song.

But then again I am a fool with an obsession! Not just foolish enough to subsitute reality with a make believe world, but foolish enough to immerse my world in the study of Theater and Music, as I know I soon will :)

Without you - Rent

MIMI
Without You
The Ground Thaws
The Rain Falls
The Grass Grows

Without You
The Seeds Root
The Flowers Bloom
The Children Play

The Stars Gleam
The poets dream
The Eagles Fly
Without You

The Earth Turns
The Sun Burns
But I Die
Without You

Without You
The Breeze Warms
The Girl Smiles
The Cloud Moves

Without You
The Tides Change
The Boys Run
The Oceans Crash

The Crowds Roar
The Days Soar
The Babies Cry
Without You

The Moon Glows
The River Flows
But I Die
Without You

ROGER
The World Revives

MIMI
Colors Renew

BOTH
But I Know Blue
Only Blue
Lonely Blue

MIMI
Within Me, Blue

BOTH
Without You

MIMI
Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats

ROGER
Without You
The Eyes Gaze
The Legs Walk
The Lungs Breathe

ROGER
The Mind Churns (MIMI: The Mind Churns)
The Heart Yearns (MIMI: The Heart Yearns)

BOTH:
The Tears Dry
Without You

Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die

ROGER
Without You

MIMI
Without You

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

बगिया बगिया बालक भागे
तितली फिर भी हाथ न लागे
इस पगले को कौन बताये?
ढूँढ रहा है जो तू जग में
कोई जो पाए तो, मन में ही पाए

सपनो से भरे नैना...
तो नींद है न चैना

ऐसी डगर कोई अगर जो अपनाए
हर राह के वो अंत पे
रस्ता ही पाए
धुप का रस्ता जो पैर जलाये
मोड़ तो आए छाओं न आए
राही जो चलता है चलता ही जाए
कोई नहीं है जो कहीं उसे समझाए

सपनों से भरे नैना
तो नींद है न चैना

नैना रे नैना रे
नैना रे
नैना रे

घ घ प ध ...

दूर ही से, सागर जिसे, हर कोई माने
पानी है वो, या रेत है, यह कौन जाने
जैसे कि दिन से रैन अलग है
सुख़ है अलग और चैन अलग है
पर जो यह देखे वो नैन अलग है
चैन तो है अपना सुख़ हैं पराये

सपनों से भरे नैना
तो नींद है न चैना

couldn't help

but lift this! (no idea if it's even allowed)Credits: http://graphjam.com/page/26/

:)

We came. we sang. we conquered.
Throw in electric acoustic and bass guitars with amazing guitarists, drummer, and extremely enthu punters singing like there's no tomorrow!
A night of friends and live music. What more can I ask for? :) :)

Some blah...

I might as well call this my personal diary and be done with it...it pretty much serves the same purpose..
It's just me talking to myself...sometimes I wonder why does anyone else in the world read my blog at all?...
Anyway so what's new? I think I have grown old.
I remember reading an article in Reader's Digest as a kid about growing up ( in those days that's what growing older was called! ) There was this guy reminiscing about his journey through life and how he grew up not by years or birthdays but by events. That milestones in his life were not dates but happenings.
So I think my growing past undergrad into grad life marked more than a birthday so to speak. It changed me to such a remarkable extent.
The person I am today has totally lost interest in society or people, has re discovered the joys of solitude and forsaken the need to be with others.
More than anything I have lost my patience, which is what bothers me most. I think living with a large set of people and getting my case taken every now and then, had tempered me a lot. Now it takes me time and effort to remind myself that others are only kidding when they do so. I have become so utterly intolerant of people.
I am so easily annoyed, so effortlessly irritated that it's not funny anymore!
Essentially I have sathiyaoed in my twenties :P